i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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