I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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