Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
