I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
