Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions