At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high