i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I fill condoms, not promises.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD