you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
