youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
