nut hugger
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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