she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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