He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
