We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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