Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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