I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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