She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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