I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
