i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Randomize
