just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
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you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
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Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY