"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
