I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
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Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
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My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.