I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.