What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
