She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
