He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
