your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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