then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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