Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
