I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Randomize
