Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
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I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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