I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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