Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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