I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
