It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
