Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Alive.
So much puke
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
