I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
bring money and cleavage
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I think my moral compass just broke
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
