Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
