I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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