My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
