Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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