batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
