my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize