when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
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