So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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