You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
