Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I will be naked everywhere
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize