i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
