I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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