im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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