I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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