are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
