u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
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He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
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It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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