I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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