Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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