the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm too high and old for this...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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