the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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