ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
