scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
