i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
