My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
