You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
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