Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
