I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
