Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
