i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
