Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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