I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
