he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
How many fucks given?
0.12846
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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