brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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