the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
